Thank you, everyone, for following the “narcisme. blog”. Those of you who haven’t: if you like what you see, follow us and turn on your notifications. So today, I want to talk about meditation in an easy, light-hearted way for a beginner. Meditation thus as a form of separating from our mind, creating distance in ourselves between ourselves and our thoughts and feelings.
I am such a believer in meditation.
It’s an essential skill. I call it a skill. I will tell you why I think we can develop separation from our mind and go a long way if we do a few things about meditation.
First of all, I’m going to dispel some myths about meditation
Meditation is not often a Zen-like experience. It is not a passive experience. This means that I am not sitting there waiting for something to happen while I am meditating. It’s really an active experience.
As I said, there are tools that I suggest you need for us to work on while we meditate. So it’s something we do. We don’t wait for something to happen again. It’s not zen.
Our goal is not to be zen, fight our thoughts away, or get to a place where we have a list of ideas because that’s just not possible.
We can’t control our thoughts, but meditation helps us change our relationship with them.
It can also be overwhelming. This may be the first time for some of you to sit with yourself and your thoughts, and I’m going to tell you something. Many uncomfortable sensations arise.
We can see or hear some thoughts or experiences that we have some ideas that can be really uncomfortable, downright dark, or scary. A million different adjectives can apply here.
We can start to feel restless if we feel uncomfortable in our bodies.
This is all completely normal. This is, as I said, the first time some of you are without the endless distractions we have all day. We go on thinking all day long.
We have to worry about this and that, and we are inside our thoughts. Our minds were elsewhere everywhere, so we were distracted. So if we’re not delighted, if we sit in silence, we’re all going to do this, it’ll come back, and many of our thoughts will overwhelm us.
So every time we start meditation, I literally recommend starting with one or two minutes. Don’t go crazy. Don’t think I’m sure many of you meditators know or have heard of seven-day retreats or 30 minutes and an hour here and there. That’s, like I said, not a great place to start because that can be really overwhelming.
And the last thing we want to do is overwhelm ourselves by trying this in a way that isn’t suitable for beginners.
And I know I had that experience when I found that mindfulness was resistant to doing it consistently because, as I said, I would get irritated in my body. My mind will race. I think of a million things I shouldn’t be doing, or what’s for dinner or whatever it was.
My thoughts were a minute and a half, so I avoided them. So literally, 1 to 2 minutes is a good start.
So how do we meditate?
We sit somewhere where we can be distracted as little as possible. Now, of course, I know this will vary for all of you where that place is or when it happens, but you just have to take some time.
So I’m literally sitting in a room on a pillow. I do that in the morning. So I get up. It’s part of my morning routine of what I’m going to do, and that meditation is me quieting myself. I will close my eyes because one of our goals is to limit the number of things and distractions that can get our attention.
What we want to happen is meet ourselves to see what our thoughts are about.
To sit with our feelings. This is so powerful to learn that there is a human entity. Whatever you call it, your mind. You know, your inner being, your soul.
A person makes each of you “you,” who is separate from everything that goes on in your head all day or even how your body feels. There is an entity that is separate from our mind.
When I’m alone in my room, I can just calm myself down, take a few deep breaths, and what I do is I just sit there, and I breathe. What’s inevitably going to happen is my mind starts to move, right?
This is what we’re working on right now on two skills to not get attached to our thoughts, not to jump on all our crazy ideas.
Those who have ever done a guided meditation or youtube video may have heard that thoughts are called equal.
The cars on the road, the clouds in the sky, yes, the waves in the ocean teach us how to just develop an observation or witness stand.
What is the meaning of this? I’m just looking at them, right? So I’m sitting here, me, the entity that I am. It is separate from myself. And I watch my thoughts as they start to pick up, right?
So I could sit here and my mind could say what I’m going to do today.
Oh, you have to go to the thing that requires you to write emails. How did you get back to that person? A million thoughts a minute.
I’m going to watch those thoughts happen, and I’m going to take my attention away from them, and this is the second skill and turn my attention back to my breathing.
This attentional ability is called a muscle.
It’s something we have to develop. We all believe it or not, we have a choice of what to focus our attention on. We just haven’t had access to that choice for a long time.
So most of us, myself included, have lived or are literally living under the dictatorship of our thoughts. Correct?
So our thoughts are always there, and I don’t feel like I can choose to put my thoughts anywhere. To turn my attention elsewhere.
Where this means to many of us is that I read a page of a book, right? Simple example. I don’t remember what I read. Or I was in a lecture. I ignored that, right? I was there physically, even in the book reading example. My eyes scanned my page, but I didn’t pay attention when my attentive spotlights got lost in the rabbit hole of my mind.
So when I sit and meditate, I just focus on my breathing and my thoughts come and I separate myself from those thoughts and I let them go.
Some of us like to label them.
There was my to-do list though, there’s my inner critic thought, and then I chose, strengthen that muscle by returning my attention to my breathing.
If you do that for even one minute, two minutes at most consistently, as I said before, it could be so powerful.
This is a space where we not only meet ourselves, some of us, for the first time, but where we empower ourselves by separating you from our spirit.
We show ourselves that we can separate ourselves from our minds, get past that, and be more potent than that.
That’s so important that over time, so, as I’ll say, whether I’m talking about breath, work for meditation, or any other tool I recommend using.
We sit, and we develop it on this pillow, right?
So the more consistent we are, the better the results.
One minute, two minutes I’ve added up, teach me those skills or let me introduce myself those skills.
And before I know it, I can use that.
Use that separation.
Use that focus choice throughout the day because that’s where our triggers are.
Patterns live on, like I will always say. There are tools to change that. There are places where we practice the devices directly on my meditation cushion, doing my breathwork.
But what’s incredibly important is that those tools carry over into my day.
So wherever it is in your world, take a minute, find a quiet spot, just tune in to yourself. Be prepared.
Some of you may be very uncomfortable with what you see in your mind, what you feel due to those thoughts, and how you feel in your body.
I know the meditation cushion makes us all very antsy, right?
All that is, you teach yourself how to be in all of this, choose to be in it, detach from your thoughts, and focus your attention wherever you want. It’s so important.
So those of you who have ever tried meditation, I’d like to hear what you find helpful, what you struggle with because that’s the reality out there. Sometimes it is difficult.
Those of you new to it, I’d love to know what you think.
Thanks for tuning in to “narcissism. blog”.