Self-sabotage is so common, isn’t it?
In this article, I talk about what self-sabotage is. I discuss self-destructiveness and why we do it. I also explain how to practice out of it. I discuss how self-sabotage stems from unworthiness. I explain why we fall back into old patterns that do serve us. There is an opportunity to cultivate conscious choices to help you align with your future self.
Most of us don’t even know we are doing self-sabotage. In fact, if you ask most people, they’ll tell you many things that are holding them back. They might mention things getting in their way. It usually isn’t themselves.
I was one of those people. I wasn’t conscious of the many dynamics I set up in my life. These dynamics kept me in situations where I would hurt myself. I wouldn’t show up fully for myself. Furthermore, I’ve now witnessed thousands of people who have this same pattern.
Some ways self-sabotage shows up:
Playing small, like staying invisible, even when you want more and know you can do more. Engaging in toxic relationship dynamics that keep us re-enacting childhood trauma. We believe in coping mechanisms that help with stress and leave us feeling good in the short term. However, they make us feel worse or ashamed afterward.
You know these maladaptive mechanisms:
Shopping, drinking, gossiping, getting lost in endless social media scrolling. Not asking for help or telling people when we have a need that isn’t being met. You take on roles that let you feel loved. These roles include the caretaker, the enabler, or the “always on call person.” These roles can make you feel resentful. Staying in a job you hate that leaves you feeling less-than or unworthy. Chronic comparison to others.
Here is the most important thing to understand about self-sabotage: its protection.
It’s the subconscious mind keeping us safe or in familiar patterns that we can predict. Understanding this protection mechanism can help prevent us from beating ourselves up. It also helps avoid shaming ourselves for repeating these behaviors.
If you self-sabotage, use the search function with the keyword sabotage. Or read more of the articles below and watch the video’s.
Shoot me a DM if you have read an article about self-sabotage, and let me know what you think.
Happy Healing,
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Toxic people and their organizations cause great damage to society. Everyone is subject to it and our society is increasingly moving towards even more narcissistic anti-democratic tendencies. That’s why we give you the growth tasks for free. They are full of self-care tips, self-healing tips and options for trauma processing so that you have more opportunities.
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