The difference between self-esteem and narcissism.

Life sometimes requires valuation. This applies at work, on a date, in an interview, or during a conversation whose theme we do not control. 

Some would even say that it is inherent in the Mediterranean Picaron character.

Where is the line between good self-esteem and sinning as a narcissist? Is it really a problem with our current society?

This presentation includes images that were used under a Creative Commons License.

The thin line between self-respect and narcissism.

In short, narcissism is maximal self-esteem; the excessive admiration that you feel for your physical appearance, qualities, or gifts.

Self-centeredness, related to the above although not precisely the same, is the paranoia of the narcissist; 

You admire yourself deeply. This causes you to believe that you are the center of attention and concern for other people.

These two psychological phenomena seem to describe what happens to many people. Still, for those unfamiliar with the subject, it is good to emphasize the differences between narcissism and self-esteem.

The denial of the value of others.

The difference between narcissism and self-esteem is that the first implies the denial of the value of others. Others are reduced to mere providers of attention and fame. 

On the other hand, our self-confidence makes us feel good about ourselves. We feel integrated into a society full of perfectly able people.

But … does the passage of time not change our self-esteem into narcissism by using new technologies?

For a clinical distinction beyond confidence or self-admiration, read about NPD symptoms and professional assessment.

For broader background on narcissistic traits and relationship patterns, you can read ** Rethinking Narcissism by Craig Malkin (English edition) as additional reading alongside this distinction. These book links are affiliate links: a purchase may earn us a small commission, at no extra cost to you.

The evolution of narcissism.

Adolescence is a phase of the revolution, among other things hormonal, that leads us to ups and downs of self-worth. 

Hopefully, after this time, we managed to leave it unharmed and with a regular sense of self-worth.

This series of perceptions, thoughts, and judgments of ourselves will undoubtedly influence how we see the world around us.

According to some theories, we build our self-confidence based on the social acceptance of our colleagues. 

But there comes a time when someone’s ego, ours, is enormously bloated and stands out.

He loves himself very much and is superior to everything else.

There are now several articles blaming technologies. They claim the abuse of these technologies creates narcissists. But were there no narcissists before the internet?

When reflecting on your sense of self-worth, ** Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff offers further reading on self-criticism and developing a kinder relationship with yourself.

The cult to the ego.

The cult of ourselves, the body or the spirit according to time, existed long ago.

Let’s start with the narcissistic word itself. It comes from the myth of Narcissus. This myth occurs in both Greek and Roman mythology. 

It speaks of a handsome young man. He has stolen the heart of every woman. He should not drown in the water because he was in love with his reflection.

The problem has thus existed since ancient times. What has changed are the elements of the game? 

He has given us “selfies”, received a lot of “likes”, many photos and many friends, followers … 

Even those who write on this website do not enjoy the proportion of times our article is shared?

Probably everyone, somehow or other, sometimes sins that the ego is ready. 

However, it is easier to see the straw in someone else’s eye.

In fact, the only thing we can blame the internet is that it has made it simpler and more universal.

 Now I can have many friends. I don’t have to work on or look after those relationships. I just need to give a “like” from time to time. 

I can teach others, my hundreds of “friends”, how happy I am with my life, my partner, and my work. I can also show how handsome I am towards the natural. I use mobile applications that correct, enlarge, lower, and cover you, of course. In short, it’s easy because I choose what I want to show.

We live in a hectic era of capitalism and liberal economy. We confuse happiness with consumerism. This confusion consumes us. 

Nevertheless, it was possible to cross the line from self-esteem to self-centeredness and narcissism before any social network. If not, ask Donald Trump.

That is an excellent example of what it is like to love yourself too much.

The neural circuits of egocentrism.

Internally, these little moments of pseudo-happiness give us too much worship. They make it known as the networks trigger the brain reward center. This is like sex, food, and generosity …

And finally, what gives meaning to our existence is reward and pleasure. What moves us and motivates us from the most biological and fundamental perspective is also reward and pleasure. 

How we achieve it will continue to vary. It is now fashionable to pose in photos and put a filter on my pasta dish. Hopefully tomorrow, we will try altruism and generosity as a mechanism of cerebral reward.

We have to take care of the ‘child’ that we carry inside. But, that does not mean it is filled with candy.

To reflect further on your own needs, habits and everyday choices, you can read ** How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera (English edition) as a companion for personal reflection.

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Please share with your communities. We want to help people awaken to these truths. Together, we can put an end to narcissistic abuse for real.

And as always, I’d love to answer your comments and questions below.

I hope this post about being invincible is at your service!

If you liked it, don’t forget to share it.

As always, thank you very much for being a beautiful soul!

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Toxic people and their organizations cause great damage to society. Everyone is subject to it and our society is increasingly moving towards even more narcissistic anti-democratic tendencies. That’s why we give you the growth tasks for free. They are full of self-care tips, self-healing tips and options for trauma processing so that you have more opportunities.

Thank you so much for your support!

For further reading on self-awareness and relationships: ** How to Be the Love You Seek by Nicole LePera (English e-book).

You can translate all the text: Are you taking a step forward today with a growth task?

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Liefs,
Annemie en Johan Persyn-Declercq (auteurs)

update : 09102026

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