Self-betrayal (self-betrayal) is a coping mechanism.
To deny your own needs because someone else would choose you is self-betrayal.
Letting your boundaries go.
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Seeking employment because someone you love sees it as “successful”, even if it’s no longer aligned, is self-treason.
Allowing someone to do something that harms both of you because that someone wouldn’t let you down is self-betrayal.
Adopting the beliefs of others or participating in “groupthink” to feel approval.
We learn this conditioning when we have grown up in families where we have to deny our needs. Or our needs to receive love in such a family are not considered.
When we betray ourselves, we feel resentment.
Our path to healing comes from meeting our needs and honoring those personal needs, setting clear boundaries, and forgiving ourselves for the times we betrayed ourselves to cope with a loss of love.
Self-betrayal can take many forms, such as ignoring your problems, ignoring your needs to meet others’ needs, and more. Many of us have experienced self-betrayal in relationships as a result of a poor sense of identity or a lack of self-esteem.
Self-betrayal is not the same as making compromises.
When a person compromises, they don’t pretend they don’t have a clear preference. Instead, in light of their preference, they signal to another that they are willing to give ground for the sake of the relationship or some other higher purpose.
A person who betrays himself is highly self-centered because his main concern is how he comes across to others. They are willing to deny their preferences to avoid discomfort and not take responsibility for their choices. They would much rather blame the person who made the choice for them.
How do you take care of yourself?
And we’re not talking about wonderful beauty treatments or new clothes. Here too we notice that we focus more on ‘external forms of self-love’. We have also needed our necessary hours (read: dááágen) to really turn inward and dare to face our shadow side. It takes many guts, self-knowledge, and responsibility.
This is all part of a much more enduring form of self-love. Merel Teunis tells in Self Love Talk how you can create a loving lifestyle for yourself for a long time. Self Love Talk is a book full of beautiful insights, beautiful quotes, simple practical tips and candid anecdotes about how to bring more love into your life.
Are you ready for the purest form of love? You can order the book or e-book via bol.com at the following links book: