Abandonment: You can heal the emotion that breaks your heart

Are you hoping for a message from someone around the turn of the year? Even though you are no longer in a relationship and he or she let you feel an abandonment. He or she is also with his partner that evening, even though she says not to do New Year’s wishes.

You know somewhere that you will not hear anything, but still: you wait and yearn, the other remains silent, you feel sadness and disappointment, but you do not express this.

Instead, pour another glass of champagne and push the deserted feeling into the background. I want to invite you this year to deal differently with the feelings that this touches in you.

I invite you to welcome these feelings as a part of you, see them for what they are, and take loving care of them.

Exercise “Feel your abandonment”, or grief rising, then welcome it.

Say to yourself, “Welcome desolation, welcome sorrow, what do you want to tell me?”

Listen to the answer that comes to mind and trust that it is correct.

Then observe where in your body the feeling presents itself.

Do you feel an emptiness in your heart, a knot in your stomach, a ball in your stomach?

Be there with your loving attention, without wanting to change this feeling.

Continue to breathe calmly and let what comes up.

Maybe there will be a lot, maybe little will come, maybe nothing will come at all.

It’s all okay, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

After a while you know that it is enough, and you can also rely on that knowledge.

Thank the feeling for showing itself.

This feeling has come into contact with you and by listening to it you have honored the connection with yourself.

Now return your attention to where you celebrate your New Year’s Eve.

From now on you will participate in the party around you from a deeper contact with yourself.

Do you want to continue on your way to the loving relationship with yourself, and thus with others?

Annemie Persyn Declercq.
Orthopedagoge

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