Struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse – self-avoidance

When we are on a journey of healing and resurrection, the most important component is “self-partnering.” How do you struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse?

This is in dire contrast to “self-avoidance,” or what is also known as “self-abandonment.”

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Many of us had no idea we were “self-avoiding” because we just thought we were doing our best to get on with life. For many people life itself can be all-consuming. You may feel like it is a daily struggle to cope – or even just survive.

Business as usual

For so many people, a need for self-partnering only happens when life brings us to our knees when we simply can’t continue on with “business as usual.” This generally happens as a result of challenges, adversity or even tragedy.

This is the time when we reach the cross-road of evolution or dissolution. This is where we choose to transform ourselves from the inside out – or we miss the boat and just get progressively more unwell.

Narcissistic abuse is undoubtedly one of the greatest wake-up calls to let us know that the trajectory and choices we were on aren’t working, and self-partnering is essential – and absolutely critical if we are going to heal our life.

We may not have realised how “unconscious” we are when we self-avoid.

We may not have realised that rather than be our own authority – honouring, loving and respecting ourselves, and creating more of that with life, we have instead been living life by default.

If we are not self-aware and healthily self-empowered, we are controlled and molded by people and situations, rather than being a creative force of truth for ourselves. Eventually this model leads to our own demise, which is exactly what happened to us via narcissistic abuse.

How do we stop this struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse?

By taking our focus off “WHAT happened to me” (the outside), and make it our HIGHEST mission to take our awareness, energy and deep-abiding love inside ourselves, so that we can work on and heal “WHY this happened to me.”

struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse

The Shifting of Self-avoidance Into Self-partnering.

In order to change our emotions and behaviours, we need to shift our internal beliefs.

By doing so, our new more empowered healthier state of being will simply be an expression of who we have now become.

For those of you on the NARP Program you can use the Goal Setting Module, and set up the following goals to reverse the faulty powerless beliefs limiting you from entering into a self-partnership.

This is so much more than just speaking affirmations, which take a great deal of repeated effort and time to trickle down into your subconscious in order to produce change. Body shifts are another level entirely because they are a much more powerful and direct application.

To recap, the following are beliefs you may want to release all resistance to in order to help claim Self-partnering:

#1 Blame and Shame 

Self-partnering Goal: “I release my outer focus in order to bring my power back into my own body. I now deeply partner and love myself.”

#2 Not Spending Time Alone

Self-partnering Goal: “It is safe to let go and just be with me. I rejoice in joining with myself in love, truth and healing.”

#3 Food, Sugar, Alcohol, Cigarettes and Drugs

Self-partnering Goal: “I release the need to continue hurting myself. I free myself to go within in order to support, love and heal myself.”

#4 Social Media, TV, Computer Games

Self-partnering Goal: “It is safe to feel. I have the courage to meet myself, and be with myself in order to heal. I am worth it.”

#5 Shopping and Material Possessions

Self-partnering Goal: “I am worthy of love just as I am. I am adored by all of Existence simply because I exist. It is safe to be and love me.”

#6 Love / Sex Addiction

Self-partnering Goal: “I let go, and fill myself with love and development. By doing so I am a whole being sharing my True Self with others in their true power.”

#7 Workaholism

Self-partnering Goal: “I am worthy of receiving. Life co-partners me abundantly to provide my security, flourishing and nourishing. I am supported, and it is safe to be.”

#8 Being Concerned With Everyone Else’s Issues

Self-partnering Goal: “I recognise what I see in others is what I need to heal within myself. I let go and take my power back into my own body to heal my life.”

#9 Not Being Present

Self-partnering Goal: “What I fear about others is what I need to heal in myself. I connect inwards in order to heal, knowing my divinity and True Self connect gloriously to Life and others.”

 #10 Humour, Sarcasm, Putting Up a Front

Self-partnering Goal: “I release the need to hide. By connecting with loving and healing myself, I can share my true radiance with others and life. It is safe to be me.”

I hope this article has helped you recognise where your blocks may be in regard to coming home to yourself and self-partnering.

This is how we become conscious and generate a life that is not just worth living – one which grants incredible purpose, joy, love and meaning.

This can only occur when we realise life is not happening to us, it is happening through us.

I look forward to answering your questions and comments below on struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse

I really want you to know, with all of my heart, that regardless of your abuse situation, when it started, who it was from, and what chronic conditions you may have had (even for life), the healing path for you is IDENTICAL to my healing way and that of all the other Thrivers.

Namely – get the trauma out and start to see the healing begin – which is what the Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) does.

I’d love you to learn more and experience exactly how to do this in our free program.

And if you liked this – click like. Also, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am much looking forward to answering your comments and questions below.


On December 19th and 20th Melanie Tonia Evans is hosting the “You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse” event YCTANA.

This event is a live on-line Premiere Global Healing workshop for anyone suffering abuse from a spouse, partner, family member, friend, boss, colleague or other individual.

Let Melanie show you how to shed your powerlessness, hopelessness and helplessness – quickly with cutting-edge information, tailored specifically for your situation.

And … completely dissolve away all trauma symptoms of agoraphobia, PTSD, fibromyalgia, anxiety, depression, financial ruin and an inability to trust in record time. 

Click here to secure your ticket for YCTANA to this breakthrough abuse recovery event. 

Melanie will be offering some exciting bonuses for you as well! After purchasing your ticket you will get immediate access to the following:

The “50 Traits of a Narcissist Checklist” so you can find out whether or not you are dealing with a narcissist. 

Plus an exclusive 35-minute video training called “The 6 Mistakes That People Make When Recovering From Abuse” which provides an excellent starting point to your healing journey. 

Click here to reserve your ticket for YCTANA and to receive all the special bonuses.

With love,

Johan & Annemie Persyn Declercq


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