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Struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse — self-avoidance!

When we are on a journey of healing and resurrection, the most important part is “self-partnering.” How do you struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse? This is in dire contrast to “self-avoidance,” or what is also known as “self-abandonment.”

This presentation contains images that were used under a Creative Commons License.

We simply thought we were doing our best to get on with life. As a result, many of us had no idea we were “self-avoiding”. For many people, life itself can be all-consuming. You feel like it is a daily struggle to cope — or even just survive.

For further reading on acknowledging difficult feelings and treating yourself with kindness, you can read ** Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff as a companion for personal reflection. These book links are affiliate links: a purchase may earn us a small commission, at no extra cost to you.

Business as usual

For so many people, a need for self-partnering only happens when life brings us to our knees. It occurs when we simply can’t continue on with “business as usual.” This generally happens as a result of challenges, adversity, or even tragedy.

This is the time when we reach the cross-road of evolution or dissolution. This is where we make a choice. We can transform ourselves from the inside out. Alternatively, we may miss the boat and become progressively more unwell. Read more about traumaverwerking.

Narcissistic abuse is undoubtedly one of the greatest wake-up calls. It lets us know that the trajectory and choices we were on aren’t working. Self-partnering is essential. It is absolutely critical if we are going to heal our life.

We may not have realized how “unconscious” we are when we self-avoid.

We may not have realized this. Instead of being our authority by honoring, loving, and respecting ourselves, we have been creating more with life. We have instead been living life by default.

We must be self-aware and healthily self-empowered. Otherwise, people and situations control and mold us. We should strive to be a creative force of truth for ourselves. Eventually, this model leads to our demise, which is precisely what happened to us via narcissistic abuse.

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How do we stop this struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse?

We should take our focus off “WHAT happened to me” (the outside). Make it our HIGHEST mission to take our awareness, energy, and deep-abiding love inside ourselves. This way, we can work on and heal “WHY this happened to me.”

To explore your own needs, everyday habits and choices, you can read ** How to Do the Work by Nicole LePera (English edition) as additional reading.

The Shifting of Self-avoidance Into Self-partnering.

To change our emotions and behaviors, we need to shift our internal beliefs. By doing this, we become more empowered. We reach a healthier state of being  that expresses whom we have now become.

If you are on the NARP Program, you can use the Goal Setting Module. Set up the next goals to reverse faulty powerless beliefs. These beliefs are limiting you from entering into a self-partnership.

This involves more than just speaking affirmations. These take a great deal of repeated effort. It also requires time to trickle down into your subconscious to produce change. Body shifts are another level entirely because they are a much more powerful and direct application.

To recap, the next are beliefs you want to release all resistance to help claim Self-partnering: Read more about narcisme begrijpen.

1 Blame and Shame 

Self-partnering Goal: “I release my outer focus to bring my power back into my body. I now deeply partner and love myself.”

2 Not Spending Time Alone

Self-partnering Goal: “It is safe to let go and just be with me. I rejoice in joining with myself in love, truth, and healing.”

3 Food, Sugar, Alcohol, Cigarettes, and Drugs

Self-partnering Goal: “I release the need to continue hurting myself. I free myself to go within to support, love and heal myself.”

4 Social Media, TV, Computer Games

Self-partnering Goal: “It is safe to feel. I have the courage to meet myself, and be with myself to heal. I am worth it.”

5 Shopping and Material Possessions

Self-partnering Goal: “I am worthy of love just as I am. I am adored by all the Existence simply because I exist. It is safe to be and love me.”

6 Love / Sex Addiction

Self-partnering Goal: “I let go, and fill myself with love and development. By doing so, I am a whole being, sharing my True Self with others in their true power.”

A quiet moment for personal needs alongside the discussion of self-care. See also the Dutch-language central guide to recovery after narcissistic abuse.

7 Workaholism

Self-partnering Goal: “I am worthy of receiving. Life co-partners me abundantly to offer my security, flourishing and nourishing. I am supported, and it is safe to be.”

8 Being Concerned With Everyone Else’s Issues

Self-partnering Goal: “I recognize what I see in others is what I need to heal within myself. I let go and take my power back into my body to heal my life.” Read more about grenzen en innerlijke veiligheid.

9 Not Being Present

Self-partnering Goal: “What I fear about others is what I need to heal in myself. I connect inwards to heal, knowing my divinity and True Self connect gloriously to Life and others.”

 10 Humor, Sarcasm, Putting Up a Front

Self-partnering Goal: “I release the need to hide. By connecting with loving and healing myself, I can share my true radiance with others and life. It is safe to be me.” I hope this article has helped you recognize your blocks. Understanding these blocks can help you in coming home to yourself and embracing self-partnering.

This is how we become conscious. We generate a life that is not just worth living. It is one which grants incredible purpose, joy, love, and meaning. This can only occur when we realize life is not happening to us, it is happening through us.

I look forward to answering your questions and comments below on struggle to cope with narcissistic abuse

I want you to know something very important with all of my heart. This is regardless of your abuse situation, when it started, or who it was from. Furthermore, I want you to know what chronic conditions you may have had, even if they’ve lasted for life. The healing path for you is the same as my healing way and that of all the other Thrivers.

I’d love you to learn more and experience exactly how to do this in our free program. And if you liked this — click like. Furthermore, please share with your communities so that we can help people awaken to these truths.

As always, I am much looking eager to answering your comments and questions below.

When reflecting on the time, space and energy you can offer to others, you can read ** Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab (English edition) for further reading on your own needs and personal boundaries.

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Welke kleine stap past vandaag bij jou?

Misschien gaf dit artikel woorden aan iets wat je al langer voelde. Misschien roept het vragen op, of wil je één inzicht verder onderzoeken.

Sta even stil bij deze vraag:

Wat wil ik meenemen uit dit artikel, en welke kleine stap past bij mijn mogelijkheden van vandaag?

Je kunt één gedachte opschrijven, een groeitaak uit het artikel proberen, steun vragen of bewust tijd nemen om alles te laten bezinken. Je hoeft niets te forceren. Ook rust nemen kan een passende stap zijn.

Van overleven naar leven. Van verdoving naar verbinding. Op jouw tempo.

Vind jouw volgende stap

Wil je verder lezen, maar weet je niet waar te beginnen? Onze startpagina helpt je een gids te kiezen rond narcisme begrijpen, herstel, trauma, zelfreflectie, grenzen, communicatie, kritisch denken of solidariteit.

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Start hier: vind de gids die bij jouw vraag past.

Herkenning en uitwisseling

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Op narcisme.blog verbinden we persoonlijke groei met zorg voor elkaar. We bieden psycho-educatieve informatie, reflectievragen en praktische oefeningen om jezelf, relaties en maatschappelijke patronen beter te begrijpen.

We willen bijdragen aan meer bewustwording, gezonde grenzen, verbinding en menselijk handelen. Daarbij kijken we zowel naar wat iemand zelf kan oefenen als naar de steun en omstandigheden die daarvoor nodig zijn.

Menselijke waardigheid, respect en geweldloze communicatie staan centraal. We wijzen haat, geweld, discriminatie en racisme af.

We bespreken schadelijk gedrag en maatschappelijke mechanismen zonder mensen tot een etiket te reduceren. Onze informatie ondersteunt inzicht en reflectie en vervangt geen persoonlijke diagnostiek of behandeling.

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Liefs,
Annemie en Johan Persyn-Declercq (auteurs)

update : 09102026

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