People who use spiritual practices to avoid personal or psychological problems are said to engage in “spiritual bypassing.” Spiritual bypassing is a defense mechanism. It uses spirituality to ward off unpleasant emotions. It also protects the ego. All kinds of spiritual seekers, not just Buddhists, can fall into the trap of spiritual bypassing. It’s the shadow of spirituality.
The term “spiritual bypassing” was coined in 1984 by psychologist John Welwood. Welwood is known for his work in transpersonal psychology, which integrates spirituality and psychology. Welwood observed many in his Buddhist Sangha. They used spiritual ideas and practices to avoid dealing with unresolved emotional problems. They also avoided confronting psychological wounds.
Premature transcendence
“When we move past spiritually, we often use the goal of awakening or liberation. We employ these goals to rationalize what I call premature transcendence. This is trying to rise above the raw and messy side of our humanity. We do this before fully facing it and coming to terms with it, Welwood told interviewer Tina Fossella.
Soto Zen teacher and psychoanalyst Barry Magid says even people with deep spiritual understanding can get stuck in harmful behaviors. These behaviors occur in their personal lives. This happens when insights are isolated in a bubble of sorts and not integrated into everyday life and relationships. This results in a spiritual self that is cut off from the emotional self. About a series of sex scandals involving Zen teachers, Magid wrote in his book: Nothing Is Hidden (Wisdom Publications, 2013):
Realization not only failed to heal the deep divisions in our character. It increasingly seemed that for many people, especially for many Zen teachers, the practice was opening ever-widening rifts. These rifts formed between an idealized compassionate self and a shadow self. In this shadow self, divisional and denied sexual, competitive, and narcissistic fantasies predominated.
It is likely that we all engage in spiritual bypassing at some point. If we do, will we recognize it? And how can we avoid going too deep into it?
When Spirituality Becomes Shtick
Shticki is a Yiddish word meaning ‘bit’ or ‘piece’. In show business, it involved a gimmick or routine that is part of a performer’s regular act. A shtick can also be an assumed persona that is maintained throughout an artist’s career. The personas that the Marx Brothers use in all their movies are great examples.
Spiritual bypassing often starts when people adapt spirituality as a shtick. They treat it as a persona rather than practicing getting to the root of dukkha. They wrap themselves in a Spiritual Persona, ignoring what lies beneath the surface. Then, instead of honestly dealing with their wounds, fears, and problems, John Welwood says that people develop a “spiritual superego.” Their spiritual practice is taken over by it. They focus on “making spiritual teachings into recipes.” These recipes are about what you should do. They tell you how you should think. They guide you on how you should speak. Lastly, they dictate how you should feel.
This is not a real spiritual practice; It is stupid. We suppress negative emotions and urges. Instead of honestly working with them, they stay in our subconscious. They keep dragging us around.
At worst, spiritual seekers can become attached to a charismatic but exploitative teacher. Then they clothe the parts of themselves that are uncomfortable with his behavior. They get caught up in being good little soldier dharma students. They fail to see the reality in front of them.
Symptoms of Spiritual Bypass
In his book Spiritual Bypass: When Spirituality Detaches Us From What Really Matters (North Atlantic Books, 2010), Robert Augustus Masters talks about spiritual bypass. He lists its symptoms. These symptoms include excessive detachment. They also include emotional numbness and suppression, too much emphasis on the positive, and anger phobia. Compassion can be blind or overly tolerant. Boundaries may be weak or too porous. Development may become skewed. People might judge one’s negativity or shadow side harshly. There can be a devaluation of the personal versus the spiritual. Some harbor delusions that they have come from a higher level.” Cognitive intelligence is often far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence.
If you find that your precious spiritual calmness shatters easily when you’re stressed, it’s probably shtick, for example. Don’t avoid or suppress emotions. This includes negative ones. Instead, acknowledge them and consider what they are trying to tell you.
If your spiritual practice takes precedence over your personal relationships, be careful. Especially when once healthy relationships with parents, spouses, children and close friends break down. You might be consumed by exercise and the spiritual quest. This may be because you are not integrating your spirituality into your life. Instead, you may be using it to shield yourself from others, which is not healthy. And it’s not Buddhism, either.
In some very extreme cases, people get so lost in their spiritual bubbles that their lives become an enlightenment fantasy.
They may show symptoms of psychosis or engage in risky behavior, assuming that their spiritual strength will protect them. In Buddhism, enlightenment doesn’t mean you don’t get wet in the rain and don’t need a flu shot.
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