Living with a narcissistic parent is heavy, it has a profound impact on the bystanders.
As a junkie needs heroin, the narcissistic parent is always looking for attention and power. This goal is brittle self-maintenance and is vital for the narcissist.
To get the attention he uses especially those who are closest to him, as his partner, but also his children. The children of narcissistic parents are, like all other people, just objects to him. He used them only for his gain.
What a Narcissistic father can’t.
As a parent, it is usually about giving yourself, to promote the growth and development of your child. But what happens if this is not the case? The narcissist does not meet the needs of his children. He introduces himself in the first place. He demands a lot of attention and reassurance, even to very young children.
Although he is very responsible and materially, he spoils the children, the narcissist is a lousy narcissistic parent. That is not so difficult to understand. Consider yourself a parent who is primarily concerned with your own needs.
He takes no idea what is really going on in the inner child.
A child who grows up with a narcissistic parent, not getting what is needed for healthy brain and emotional development.
The influence of a narcissistic parent.
Depending on the age of the children seem to be the best long well, especially when they are still small. Later, the narcissist will use his/her kids to complete his own self-image. Everything that the child is his introspection.
If the child misbehaves, the narcissist will reject it. Instead of giving appropriate guidance and boundaries, the child will then deal with emotional rejection and overt or covert shame.
In this way the narcissist brings shame on the child. The child feels that something did not get approval.
Only by the ambiguity of the narcissist, the child knows not what it is exactly, that’s not okay. The child feels therefore rejected as a whole person, which is a very insecure child.
‘Idol’ or ‘scapegoat.’
If the child is doing well, it fits into the ‘narcissistic -imago.’ The child exists primarily to fulfill the dreams and expectations of the narcissist. The child has no right to exist, it depends on the performance.
The narcissistic parent will meet his child. He thinks the child gives a vital source of ego gratification for him. This is because of the child’s personality, attractiveness, or intellect. This child provides essential ego gratification. This parent is drawn to the child’s qualities.
He sees the child as an extension of themselves and idolizes the child.
Often one child is the ‘idol’ (the little narcissist) and the other the “scapegoat” of the narcissist. (Often the youngest / weakest / girl)
Whom he can break the easiest, he will face most abuses. This is why the narcissist always neglected his children, he will simply not emotionally for them in any way.
Narcissistic parents abuse.
If a parent doesn’t see how her/his kids are abused, that maybe not all…
He may also yell at them. He is unreasonably angry about nothing. He refuses to take the children to talk, except to criticize them. He refuses to play with them. He never gives praise or compliments them. He teases them, taunts them, and scolds them.
Even within a family, there can be much different. It does not do much for the development of the child how the narcissist treats the child. Children feel either slighted or used as an extension of the narcissist. However, they remain a child who needs healthy self-esteem development. This is true in both cases. Even though the influence of a sane, loving parent.
I hope that you have many benefits from this article. Please take action to friend me on Facebook. We can chat there if you have more questions or just want someone to listen to.
So besides that, you’re a super parent, you also do nice things for yourself. Because you earn it!
Just because you’re a parent!
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