Living with a narcissistic parent is heavy, it has a profound impact on the bystanders.
As a junkie needs heroin, the narcissistic parent is always looking for attention and power. This goal is brittle self-maintenance and is vital for the narcissist.
To get the attention he uses especially those who are closest to him, as his partner, but also his children. The children of narcissistic parents are, like all other people, just objects to him that he used only for his gain.
What a Narcissistic father can’t.
As a parent, it is usually about giving yourself, to promote the growth and development of your child. But what happens if this is not the case? The narcissist does not meet the needs of his children. He introduces himself in the first place. He demands a lot of attention and reassurance, even to very young children.
Although he may ‘seem’ very responsible and materially, he could spoil the children, the narcissist is a lousy narcissistic parent. That is not so difficult to understand if you consider yourself a parent who is primarily concerned with your own needs.
He takes no idea what is really going on in the inner child.
A child who grows up with a narcissistic parent, not getting what is needed for healthy brain and emotional development.
The influence of a narcissistic parent.
Depending on the age of the children seem to be the best long well, especially when they are still small. Later, the narcissist will use his/her kids to complete his own self-image. Everything that the child is his introspection.
If the child misbehaves, the narcissist will reject it. Instead of giving appropriate guidance and boundaries, the child will then deal with emotional rejection and overt or covert shame.
In this way the narcissist brings shame on the child. The child feels that something did not get approval.
Only by the ambiguity of the narcissist, the child knows not what it is exactly, that’s not okay. The child feels therefore rejected as a whole person, which is a very insecure child.
‘Idol’ or ‘scapegoat.’
If the child is doing well and fits into the ‘narcissistic -imago,’ it exists primarily to fulfill the dreams and expectations of the narcissist. The child has no right to exist, it depends on the performance.
If the narcissistic parent thinks his child gives a vital source of ego gratification for him because of his personality, attractiveness, intellect, he will meet this child.
He sees the child as an extension of themselves and idolizes the child.
Often one child is the ‘idol’ (the little narcissist) and the other the “scapegoat” of the narcissist. (Often the youngest / weakest / girl)
Whom he can break the easiest, he will face most abuses. This is why the narcissist always neglected his children, he will simply not emotionally for them in any way.
Narcissistic parents abuse.
If a parent doesn’t see how her/his kids are abused, that maybe not all…
He may also yell at them, being unreasonably angry about nothing, refusing to take the children to talk, except to criticize them, refusing to play with them, never giving praise or compliment them, teasing them, taunting and them scold at them.
Even within a family, there can be much different. It does not do much for the development of the child how the narcissist treats the child. Whether children are slighted or are an extension of the narcissist, in both cases, it is a child behind a healthy development of self-esteem. Even though the influence of a sane, loving parent.
I hope that you have many benefits from this article and that you take action to friend me on Facebook because we can chat there if you have more questions, or just want someone to listen to.
So besides that, you’re a super parent, you also do nice things for yourself. Because you earn it!
Just because you’re a parent!
With love xx
Annemie Persyn Declercq
PS: Do you find this article interesting, instructive, controversial, or have you ever smiled reading this article of a recognition? Let me know in the comments below.