One of the most heartbreaking things about narcissistic abuse is affecting children.

It is painful to see how the influence of the disturbed alienating narcissistic parent can have a profound negative impact on children’s development. Emotional abuse on children is one of the most insidious problems that can not be prevented as long as they were not recognized.

In the first place, divorce is never easy for children. It’s a form of emotional abuse on children if they have to listen to the discussions and name calling. Coupled with the Narcissist parent who makes this stressful situation often even more difficult. Furthermore, to get what he wants, he makes use of everything and everybody. Important to realize, this also applies to children. It may not seem immediately obvious, but it’s his style of life.

Minimize negative impacts of emotional abuse on children

It’s too far to go deeply into this, but to identify some of the games the narcissist can play is to important to minimize the negative effects on children.

The nanotechnology of a pathological liar is the method for abuse on children.

Above all the narcissist will lie to his children and distort reality in the same way as it does with everyone. For this reason the narcist will even ask his/her children for keeping secrets. Additionally he will ask to to spy on you and to lie to you.

Not have to fulfill their own existence is abuse on children

Sooner or later the narcissist will not respect the needs and wishes of the children. In the meantime he will make promises to the children and then refuse to fulfill them. As has been noted children will miss their birthday. Likewise they will miss sporting events or other activities that are important to them. In essence they have to meet the demands of the liar.

In the long run the children learn quickly that what they want is not important for the narcissistic parent. To summarize tt matters not for the narcissist. In any event he is unable to empathize. In fact, he has no power. After all for him people are utensils, reusable and unnecessary.

As can be seen, children are there to fulfill a function: to provide the narcissist with attention adoration, admiration, approval, confirmation, fear, etc.

Even the children do not have to fulfill their own existence, irrespective of their task they have for the narcissist.

dentify the Narcissistic abuse on Children.

Emotional abuse on children

The narcissist children will provide a sense of false material well-being, in an attempt to save face.

Some children are extremely sensitive to this hypocrisy the narcissist have when they become older and feel the difference between what is real unconditional love and what is negative, selfish and false. This gives these kids a lot of confusion and uncertainty.

Emotional abuse is generally more difficult to prove than physical abuse.

By judges and lawyers is often seen as groundless accusations against each other. The result can be that emotional abuse is not investigated thoroughly or completely denied. Emotional abuse can lead to serious concerns about the welfare of the children if it is not taken seriously.

If you suspect any kind of abuse of the children, it is important to show what you observe and consult experts. It is not always the easiest path, but it can work.

Search always help if needed, in any form, for your children and possibly for yourself.

If you wish, we can talk about when you friend me on Facebook  or send me an email. (

Johan Persyn

PS: Do you find this article interesting or instructive? Have you ever feel sorry reading this article of a recognition ? Let me know in the comments below. Thank you.

Read More

Impact of Substance Abuse on Children and Families: Research and Practice Implications 

Divorcing a Narcissist – One Mom’s Battle

Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other: Powerful Tools for Navigating a High-Conflict Divorce

Children of the Aging Self-Absorbed: A Guide to Coping with Difficult, Narcissistic Parents and Grandparents 

Children of the Self-absorbed A Grown-up’s Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents

The Controversial Idea of Parental Alienation

8 Tips on how to deal with a psycho-socio-path monster.

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