One of the most heartbreaking things about narcissistic abuse is affecting children.
It is painful to see how the influence of the disturbed alienating narcissistic parent can have a profound negative impact on children’s development.
Emotional abuse on children is one of the most insidious problems that can not be prevented as long as they were not recognised.
In the first place, divorce is never easy for children. It’s a form of emotional abuse on children if they have to listen to the discussions and name-calling.
Coupled with the Narcissist parent who makes this stressful situation often even more difficult. Furthermore, to get what he wants, he makes use of everything and everybody.
Important to realise, this also applies to children. It may not seem immediately obvious, but it’s his style of life.
Minimise adverse impacts of emotional abuse on children.
It’s too far to go deeply into this but to identify some games the narcissist can play is also essential to minimise the adverse effects on children.
The nanotechnology of a pathological liar is the method for abuse on children.
Above all, the narcissist will lie to his children and distort reality in the same way as it does with everyone. For this reason, the narcissist will even ask his/her children for keeping secrets. Additionally, he will ask to spy on you and to lie to you.
Not have to fulfil their own existence is abuse on children.
Sooner or later, the narcissist will not respect the needs and wishes of the children. In the meantime, he will make promises to the children and then refuse to fulfil them. As has been noted, children will miss their birthday.
Likewise, they will miss sporting events or other activities that are important to them. In essence, they have to meet the demands of the liar.
In the long run, the children learn quickly that what they want is not essential for the narcissistic parent. To summarise matters, not for the narcissist. In any event, he is unable to empathise. In fact, he has no power. After all, for him, people are utensils, reusable and unnecessary.
As can be seen, children are there to fulfil a function: to provide the narcissist with attention adoration, admiration, approval, confirmation, fear, etc.
Even the children do not have to fulfil their own existence, irrespective of their task they have for the narcissist.
Emotional abuse of children.
The narcissist children will provide a sense of false material well-being, in an attempt to save face.
Some children are susceptible to this hypocrisy the narcissist have when they become older and feel the difference between what is real unconditional love and what is harmful, selfish and false. This gives these kids a lot of confusion and uncertainty.
Emotional abuse is generally more difficult to prove than physical abuse.
Judges and lawyers are often seen as groundless accusations against each other. The result can be that emotional abuse is not investigated thoroughly or entirely denied. Emotional abuse can lead to serious concerns about the welfare of the children if it is not taken seriously.
If you suspect any kind of abuse of the children, it is essential to show what you observe and consult experts. It is not always the most natural path, but it can work.
Search always help if needed, in any form, for your children and possibly for yourself.
Annemie Persyn Declercq
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