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Are you In An Abusive Relationship? Learn how to free yourself.
Suggestions to help escape an abusive relationship:
Set money aside. Ask friends or family members to hold money for you.
Elicit the help of a trusted family member, friend, coworker or neighbor about your situation and develop a plan of escape.
Pack a bag and be ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Include anything that is important to you, such as identification, car title, birth certificates, social security cards, credit cards, clothes for yourself and your children, shoes, medications, banking information, money and significant phone numbers.
Keep a record of all violent incidences during the escape from an abusive relationship. Note all dates, events and threats made.
Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures.
Contact your local battered women’s shelter and find out how you could use their services, if necessary.
Hide an extra set of car keys.
When you know “the you” in yourself, you refuse to be determined by the emotional attacks of an abuser (star); a perpetrator (actor).
Given that person suffers from a disorder, what he or she says is not the reality.
This is the reason why he or she uses violence as if he can break “the You” in you and the reality of how the disturbed person sees it.
You draw a constant force from the knowledge that the disturbing reality and the reaction of the perpetrator is not a sustainable solution because it is not based on real truth. Not how that is the perpetrator, nor how the victim is. On the contrary, you often have a complete change of roles.
On the other hand, the perpetrator certainly does not know “the YOU” in you. He or she will blame you for everything. In his or her eyes you are the perpetrator, even though you have done everything that is humanly possible from the one you are.
On the contrary, by not going against the disturbing reality, and taking steps to avoid further violence, even if “the deranged” explains you sick, you strengthen the perpetrator. Inevitably the cycle will repeat itself.
Come to rest, meditate, walk, to find that YOU and to assume.
From here you will no longer be caught in abuse by intimate partners.
With Love xx
Annemie Persyn Declercq